


Operation Dragon Tooth

by Kereea



Series: Adventures When Not Adventuring [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Plotting, Quests, Surprises, dragon slaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 08:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3481172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lilith has a plan. A plan that involves getting a hold of a dragon’s tooth without Bull noticing. Seeing as how Bull goes on any and every mission involving dragon-killing, this could get complicated. Fooling an ex-Ben-Hassrath won’t be easy. Thankfully, she has backup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Dragon Tooth

“Now Cole, remember, this is a secret,” Lilith said.

“Right,” the boy said. “I can only talk about it with you and Dorian because you’ll be the only ones there other than The Iron Bull and it’s a surprise for The Iron Bull.”

It was still so weird hearing him call Bull by his full name, article and all. “Great. So, we’re going to go kill a dragon.”

“We’ve done that before,” Cole said. “And I don’t see how we can do it without The Iron Bull noticing…”

“He gets to notice us killing the dragon,” Lilith said. “Dorian and I need you to keep him busy right after so I can sneak a tooth out without him seeing. Ask him why he likes killing dragons so much or something.”

“I would actually like to know why…all right,” Cole said, smiling. “But how will we fool him?”

“Well, we’re not going to think about it at all until the dragon’s dead,” Lilith said. “And to be honest, you’re a big part of it. You’re harder for Bull to read than the rest of us, no offense.”

“It’s all right,” Cole said. “I know I’m not exactly normal to most of you. But you and Varric and others like me anyway.”

“That we do,” Lilith said. “So, since you’re harder to read, you’re either going to distract him or can start talking with Dorian or I if you think Bull’s getting suspicious and we need to change subjects.”

“All right,” Cole said. “But what are you going to do with the dragon’s tooth?”

“I’m not worrying about that until we get it,” Lilith said. “Don’t worry too much. If we’re lucky, Bull won’t be looking for secrets anyway. He’ll think it’s just everyone wanting to blow off some steam while he try and figure out what’d taking Coryphishit so long.”

“Isn’t his name-”

“I’m with Sera. He wants to be a jerk and try and take over the world? He gets his name mispronounced as meanly as possible,” Lilith said primly. “Shows we don’t like him.”

“…Dork-rypheous?”

“ _What_?” she asked.

“The Chargers taught me about puns and I don’t like him either,” Cole said brightly before vanishing.

.o.o.o.

“This is going to be awesome,” Bull said.

“I agree. All this waiting has me wanting to incinerate _ten_ dragons,” Dorian said. “You’d think an evil magister a millennia old would want to _finally_ get things over with but _no_.”

“The millennia might have taught him patience, Dorian,” Lilith said. “Oh, hey, guys, Cole made up a new name for said evil magister thanks learning about puns, want to hear it?”

Cole told Dorian and Bull, resulting in both nearly collapsing in laughter.

“Oh that’s good, that is _good_ ,” Bull said. “Sounds like my guys too. Rocky likes the word ‘dork’ way too much for it not to be.”

“Varric also liked it,” Cole said.

“He would,” Dorian snickered. “Well, it’s nice to be cheery before a giant reptile tries to brutalize and murder us.”

“Animals don’t murder. It’s not like with people,” Cole said. “They think differently.”

“He’s got a point,” Lilith agreed. “Which doesn’t negate the fact that the dragon can kill us.”

“It can _try_ ,” Dorian scoffed. “I rather think we’re excellent dragon slayers by now.”

“Three is pretty good,” Lilith agreed. “Hey, Bull, how many high dragons you think are out there, anyway? Can’t be too many, they can’t really share space…”

“And they need large hunting grounds for when they’re active,” Bull agreed. “Probably not more than a dozen. Of course, taking out the big ones will just let the medium ones get bigger.”

“And then we can kill them,” Lilith agreed.

“Yes, yes, you’ll be sure to keep your supply of dragons to hunt full,” Dorian said, rolling his eyes. “I’m glad Cullen doesn’t have a fetish for absurdly deadly hunts…”

“What’s a fetish?” Cole asked.

“When you’re older,” Dorian replied. “Varric can tell you then.”

“…Do I even get older?” Cole looked to be thinking very hard on this new line of thought.

“I’m…not entirely sure that’s answerable. We can let Varric and Solas argue when we get back,” Lilith said.

Cole nodded, seemingly accepting this.

“So, how far into the Emerald Graves should this thing be, Boss?” Bull asked.

“Should be pretty soon,” Lilith mused. “We haven’t seen any animals around for over an hour, that’s usually a good sign of-”

A loud roar cut her off.

Bull grinned, “ _Hell yes!_ ”

.o.o.o.

Lilith was very upset that Dorian got the most damage done. The dragon must have had a weakness to fire, what with all the ice it had been spitting out.

On the other hand, that had been wonderfully fun.

“Well, fellow dragon slayers, how was that?” Dorian asked as he leaned slightly against his staff, looking tired.

“That. Was. Awesome,” Bull declared with a terrifyingly wide smile. “Best one yet!”

“Should help the Inquisition’s influence, once word gets out,” Dorian added idly.

“Well, come on, Dorian,” Lilith said. “Might as well get some scales.”

Lilith fought down the urge to beam as Cole realized what was going on, quickly wandered over to Bull, and asked why he liked dragons. That could go on for hours if allowed, and Cole _never_ objected to people going on and on because t meant they were talking to him.

She and Dorian went to pretending they were getting scales off the beast’s head.

“Do we need a certain size?”

“Yes, it needs to fit under my armor,” Lilith said. “But be big enough to split in two.”

“All right then,” Dorian muttered as she jabbed the butt of her staff into the dragon’s mouth to open it a bit more. “I’ll burn the gums and nerves away and you just try snatching it?”

“Sounds good,” Lilith agreed. “Here’s one…”

It was one of the smaller fangs, a bit bigger than her hand overall. It looked nicely imposing and dragony.

Dorian’s face screwed up in concentration.

“What are you doing?” Lilith asked.

“The fire will make noise. I’m thinking loudly for Cole to do something louder,” Dorian said.

“Can that work?”

“With how often he accidentally drifts in my head? It had _better_ ,” Dorian said.

Cole asked Bull something that made the Tal-Vashoth chuckle before launching into what appeared to be a bombastic story with wild gestures and increased volume.

“I really do love that kid sometimes,” Lilith said.

“You love him all the time. I think only Varric and Solas like him more,” Dorian said. With a soft hiss the flesh around the tooth was burnt through. “All right, that should do it…”

Lilith started prying the tooth out while Dorian decided to actually collect some scales, since he was there.

Lilith stumbled back as the tooth finally came free, “Well, there we go!”

Dorian made a face as she stuffed it inside her coat. “That is going to ruin yet another article of clothing, you know.”

“Good thing I don’t care about clothes,” Lilith replied, snatching a few scales herself.

“Southern barbarian.”

“Northern fop,” she replied.

“Anything else we need?”

“Anything else we can send scouts out to harvest later,” Lilith said. “It’s not that far, after all. All right, boys, fun story time’s over!”

“But it’s such an interesting story,” Cole said.

“See, Boss, kid’s got good taste,” Bull boasted. “You and Dorian have fun ripping scales off a corpse?”

“Yep. They come off so much more easily when the dragon’s not trying to eat you for it,” Lilith said, twirling one of the larger ones between her fingers. “Think I’m going to make this one into a protection charm and ship it to my brother. Maker knows he needs it…”

“Bards infiltrating places need all the sparkly things they can get,” Bull agreed. “Sparkly things that offer protection are just a good plan all around.”

“They’re called _accessories_ , you heathens,” Dorian sniffed. “…What were you telling Cole anyway, Bull?”

“How Skinner joined the Chargers.”

“Huh. Would have thought you’d be talking about dragons,” Lilith said.

“We were,” Cole said. “They met Skinner when they were hunting _little_ dragons for someone who wanted them off their lands.”

“Nowhere near as fun as the big ones, boss, but when Skinner landed on one just big enough to get airborne with her on top of it…” Bull chuckled. “Well, lucky Dalish’s bow shoots ice, let’s just say.”

Lilith laughed, “Skinner…on a flying creature… _unwillingly_ …oh that’s too good!”

“Can’t tell you too much, she’ll try and cut off my horns,” Bull chuckled.

“Threatening those is my job!” Lilith said indignantly.

“Talk to Skinner Boss. Maybe you can compromise,” Bull teased.

“Oh we’re having a talk all right…” Lilith growled.

“About who can threaten the Iron Bull?” Cole asked.

“The mysteries of women,” Dorian said, shrugging. “And this is why I like men.” At Cole’s quizzical look he amended. “No that is not the _only_ reason I like men but I’m not explaining this to you while trudge up a now-icy hill.”

“Oh, all right then.”

.o.o.o.

Frankly the hard part of part two of her plan was mostly due to Bull being so damn friendly.

Not that Lilith minded that he was friendly, but it was what that friendliness got used for. Bull could get people to talk and then secrets just slipped with no one the wiser. Which meant she had to get the tooth split and put on necklaces without coming into contact with any craftsmen who might spill things.

“Maybe you can ship it to your brother and he can do it?” Leliana asked.

“It could get lost and frankly Connor would want to know why I wanted it done. He’s nosy. Makes him a good spy-bard. But I‘m not telling my _brother_ I’m making a present for my—for Bull.”

“Hmm,” Leliana mused. “You could get someone else to take it to a smith in your stead.”

“How would someone _else_ have a dragon tooth?”

“Well, nothing for it I suppose,” Leliana said. “You could always figure out how to do it yourself?”

Three hours and a decent amount of metal and badly applied fire spells later, Lilith regretted taking that advice.

“…Nope?” her spymaster asked when she came back to the library.

“Nope,” Lilith replied.

“Well, sorry. I thought we’d managed to be brilliant,” Lelina sighed. “The pitfall of dating an ex-Ben-Hassrath, I assume. Surprises are hard.”

“But I really want this to be a surprise!” Lilith sighed. “I even managed to not say anything while nine sheets to the wind last night!”

“…Isn’t it three-?”

“Not with what we were drinking,” Lilith sighed.

“You know, maybe we’re doing this all wrong,” Leliana said. “To beat a spy, we need a spy.”

“…Can you put a dragon’s tooth on a necklace?”

“No. We need the _report_ of a spy,” Leliana said. “Of some particularly fun mission for the Chargers. That you can let Bull go on too. Getting him out of Skyhold.”

“And then I just take the thing to a craftsman like I should have done before setting bits of my room on fire.”

“Exactly…wait, _what_?” Leliana’s cool mask slipped as her eyes went wide.

“Long story. Blaming an experimental spell. Fire’s never been my thing anyway. More of a lightning mage.”

“…Josephine will be very disappointed.”

“I’m sure she will,” Lilith agreed.

.o.o.o.

_“Kadan. My heart.”_

.o.o.o.

Bull woke up before Lilith. That was entirely normal.

But normally he gently shook her awake to say goodbye before he had to get down to the ring to work with the Chargers or get breakfast, whichever was more pressing.

This morning…

His gaze drifted to the bedside table where two hunks of dragon’s tooth rested.

He had not lied to her last night. People rarely surprised him. It was honestly impressive that she’s managed to not only surprise him by her actions, but by managing to keep those actions secret.

Kadan was a word that translated many ways, what with how easily his native tongue clashed with most others. It could technically mean a close friend or comrade, but Bull had always felt it meant more than what those words meant to the people outside the Qun.

So he had assessed what he meant when he said it. And he’d meant what he told her. “My heart.”

He wasn’t used to feeling like this about people, but then he also wasn’t used to how much he began to care about the Chargers years ago when they were just supposed to be a cover or the idea of having someone like Cole outside his line of sight.

He wasn’t used to the thought that Lilith being dead would probably feel like his heart had been ripped out. It was…disconcerting. Confusing.

He didn’t like uncertainly and confusion but…this sort of felt exciting.

“What are you doing up? Bet the sun’s not even up just yet…”

Bull glanced down at Lilith as she peered at him through her mussed red hair.

“Thinking about what we could do before breakfast, kadan,” he covered smoothly.

“Well, unless you want to wait awhile for breakfast,” she made a show of yawning as she settled back down, head resting on folded arms, “that might not happen.”

“Oh really?” he asked. He could tell she was intentionally positioning her ass like that. Sneaky girl.

“Well, unless you feel like making me.”

Just as he thought. “And what, do you say, does it take for me to ‘make’ the Inquisitor do anything?”

“I thought I wasn’t the Inquisitor in here,” Lilith chuckled.

“Hmm, a fair point, Kadan.” He evaluated her position. Grabbing her ass would be nice and all, but would offer the least leverage for anything he really felt like doing.

He settled on flipping her over giving him enough of startle to work with in order to pin her hands above her head, “So, still sure I have to _make_ you?”

She smirked. That was the smirk that usually led to lightning arcing across a battlefield. “Keep talking, big guy, and we’ll see.”

.o.o.o.

“Huh, the door’s locked.”

“What?” Cullen asked as he continued putting on his armor.

“Your door’s locked. Your door is never locked,” Dorian mused. “True, no one just running in can see your room from down here but you always leave it open in case of an emergency.”

“Well, yes but…yesterday…”

“What happened yesterday?” Dorian asked. He grinned as Cullen blushed, “Ooh, don’t look so embarrassed, now you _have_ to tell me!”

“I walked in on someone.” Cullen said it all in one breath.

“Do tell.”

“ _No_.”

“Please?”

There was a knock at the door. Dorian unlatched it and leaned outside with a chipper, “Yes?”

Damn. It was Bull. He didn’t react at all, unlike Cullen’s men would. This one blonde messenger always got a twitchy eye…

“Lilith wanted to check on Cullen. I see he’s locking his door now.”

Dorian’s eyes widened, “He walked in on…” He turned back to Cullen trying not to laugh, “You walked in on…?”

“So did Josie and Cassandra,” Bull added, almost as an afterthought. “Hell, Lilith wondered if Cullen had gone blind…”

Dorian collapsed against the doorframe, howling, as Cullen tersely ordered Bull to come back later. But the snickering mage didn’t miss the dragon’s tooth in the horned man’s fist as he headed off.

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously if you take Bull with you to kill the dragon, how doe he not notice you ripping out a tooth like he told you bout earlier? Clearly the Inquisitor had to have someone distract him.  
> I couldn't resist the end scene with Cullen. You know Dorian could crack up when he heard what happened.  
> Next time we're post-Adamant and Hawke's decided to stay...which means the Inquisition gets to meet Fenris!


End file.
